Challenge: To stop with personal insults

Last night my flatmate told me off once more for calling myself bad words. We were chatting happily in the kitchen as we normally do when I called myself a retarded and she got really pissed with me. This was not the first time she told me I should stop doing this, and yesterday I actually realize that it is a big problem in my life. I do it so often I don’t even notice anymore, it is a pattern that had been there for a long time. Perhaps it all started when I was a teenager and it was quite common for me and my friends to call ourselves things like idiot, retarded, bitch and many other untranslatable random names, some really stuck and I still use then to label myself when I do something stupid.

The problem with calling myself names is that I end up attracting the bad energy of those words to me. I don’t truly believe I am retarded or stupid in general, and I know it is normal to make mistakes or silly things now and then, so why this impulse of mislabeling myself all the time? In my case I guess is mere humor, although I am aware it is not funny anymore, that is just the way I’m used to express myself for a long time. Finally I decided to change this behavior as it doesn’t make sense anymore. It took me so long to overcome my low self-esteem problem and to actually manage to love myself, so why still use those bad words then?

I have decided to challenge myself and try to stop this behavior. Doing a little research on the subject I actually found out that naming yourself with negative labels are examples of ‘automatic negative thoughts’, and that every time that I say ‘I am retarded’ I am actually reinforcing this negative thought and making it grow. I discovered that this self-bulling can also end up shaping what we believe about ourselves and the negative thoughts become physical reactions and negative emotions. Big reason to stop it right now!

self-talk-cycle

So here is how I am planning my challenge to stop with those personal insults:

1 – Recognize when I do it

Well nothing can actually happen without me first catching myself doing it. Now that I’m aware I do this so often, thanks to my beloved flatmate, I guess it will be easier to recognize this behavior on my daily life.

2 – Apologize to myself 

Every time I catch myself doing it I’ll close my eyes, visualize my inner-self and ask sincere apologies. Not sure that would work all the time especially during conversations as it might be a bit weird, but I’ll see if works at least I’ll try to do it mentally.

3 – Replace negative statements for positive ones

Soon after the apologies I will simply say something good about myself or just comfort myself that I will do it better next time, or state that it was nothing stupid or retarded just a simple mistake.

Negative labeling do have power and it is really important to break this patter. Consciously rejecting this discouraging words like idiot and retarded are a way to shift the negative emotions into positive ones. I feel that this challenge will be really beneficial for me, and perhaps can help me even more than I imagine. I’m curious to see the outcome, I’ll keep the blog updated on this.

Youre-Not-Broken.-You-dont-need-to-be

For further reading on the subject here is some links I found interesting:

Automatic Negative Thoughtshttp://successmindset.co/automatic-negative-thoughts/

How and why to stop calling yourself nameshttp://smashdepression.com/2016/04/how-and-why-to-stop-calling-yourself-names/

Self Bullyinghttp://www.heyugly.org/SelfBullying.php

 

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