Why a sentence so simple as I love you can bring so much tension into someone’s mind. That was what I kept asking myself just now before deciding to come back to this blog. I randomly almost said that to someone today – a friend/fuck buddy which I was spending the day with. It felt pretty weird that this almost come out of nowhere, but to be honest it felt quite natural when it was coming just before my mind stopped me to finish the sentence and tried to weirdly contour the situation. And why is that I ask myself? Why being so scared to say I love you to someone you actually having a great moment with? Well I definitely loved this person in that moment no? And shouldn’t we human beings just love each other all the time? Is that not what is missing in this world?
Love… is actually pretty simple if you think! Is actually just what we need. Love and being loved. We just make it complicated because for this fucked up society we live in saying you love someone is always related to some sort of commitment, which is not always what some people want. Or sometimes is all that some people want, however that can come with negative things such as rejection and the fear of not being corresponded in your love.
I realise that for me love is somehow commitment; commitment to the good intentions, to what is true to ourselves and to what makes us happy. Loving someone is wishing then the best you could wish at that moment, perhaps doing so if you can, without expecting nothing back. When love is pure is fulfilling because this good intention you send to others from your heart really connects you to the divine, it brings a sense of unity, and I believe that loving others like this is loving yourself too. Our hearts and souls are made to love, but our mind and ego sometimes get in the way to complicate things. If we could simply be in contact with our true selves we would just love everyone as we realise there is no difference between anyone and ourselves. Love is the essence of the human beings.
Once I met this guy in a summer trip who taught me one of the biggest lessons of my life about love. After some days we were hanging out, he said he loved me and I was really skeptic about it, even taught ‘what a joke’! At that point the idea of love was so wrong in my mind that I couldn’t even see what he meant… we had a great connection and we were having a great time together and he love me for the person I was and for sharing a bit of me with him. He loved me because he loved life and at that moment I was part of his life and that was all. After all love doesn’t need to be complicated, and when is pure you really see is not. Before I left I said to him I loved him too (it was so hard to say it but he convinced me with his enlightement talk), but it was only a few months later that I really got it. Now I do understand what he meant and I do really love him too, for real, he is an awesome person and such a pure soul, how not to love?
And what about my friend /fuck buddy? Do I love him? Of course I do, and that is great cuz why would I share so much with someone I don’t love? He is a cool dude and I love him for the person he is, for the great time we spend together, I love him as a friend and just as a human being, and I wish him all the best ever so, yes that is love! Don’t need to romanticise this shit. I love him but i’m not in love with him and that is the slightly difference here.
Love is completely altruistic, is being compassionate and wishing a good intention to the people that are around us. We should simply let ourselves love others more and express that freely with no shame of being a weirdo. So I just wanna say I love you world and I really love all the great people in my life from deep inside my heart.
PS: I love you!